Animation has become something I have loved for years. The majority of the animations I have discovered were on YouTube. I was able to discover artists like Pafbar, beetlerat, cuptoast, mammalfriend, and more.
That being said, I’m not here to talk about the animators I have watched, but one that particularly peaked my interest. One thing that I noticed this animator did differently than a lot of the other animators I have watched is she also makes her own music. The person I’m talking about is Jesse Patience, animator and musician of the project Mallbat. She posts her project on places like Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and where I frequent most, YouTube. She has multiple short films, along with two series: Mall City and an autobiographical animated series called Jesse’s Diary.
She also has multiple EPs with her latest called Trash Girl. This six-song EP is the first album of work where vocals are a prominent feature. The video accompanying the album on YouTube is filled with very bright and colorful backgrounds with a 3D-made CD jewel case with the album art placed inside. There are also lyrics displayed in the video. The tracklist names are “U CAN MAKE GARBAGE”, “MY DRUGS”, “TRASH GIRL”, “uhaul”, “little lies”, and “there’s a party at the dump tonight, u should totally come!! :))”.
My Thoughts on the Tracklist
U CAN MAKE GARBAGE
This song is basically when you combine noise music with some cozy indie. I wish I knew genres better than I do, but this is the best I can describe it. This song feels the least serious with its encouraging words and trash puns. The whole point of this song is that making trash creative projects is okay.
She also yells out different free software like Gimp, Blender, and Garageband. I wouldn’t be surprised if that is the list of programs she used to get her newest EP out, or even past EPs. My favorite line is probably, “It’s way more fun hanging out at the dump than hanging at the mall”. I’d like to think that line meant that it's more fun to expect trash than to expect a perfect product. At a dump you expect garbage, but at a mall there’s a more corporate standard by people with years of perfecting their craft displayed all over the place. The expectation at the mall is too high and not everyone can make what’s in the mall. Everyone can make what can be put in a dump.
MY DRUGS
This song uses a Walgreens call about a delayed prescription as a sample. This is the only time words are heard in the song and it's only played near the beginning and end of it. The instrumental itself starts with what reminds me of noise music with a nice haunting piano part that can get stuck in your head. There is a slight style switch to a less distressing electronic sound until it goes back to the sound that I prefer, especially when the piano comes in. Instrumental-wise, this is probably my favorite one in the album.
TRASH GIRL
This song reminded me of music you’d hear from people like boygenius and yuele. I didn’t expect this song to be a gloomy one by the name, especially after listening to “MY DRUGS”. I thought we would be going in another direction, but I’m not mad at it. I love songs with instrumentals similar to this one. We also have a very different understanding of what trash means in this song. Rather than like the first track where it was about being okay with making trash, it’s more about the artist being the trash.
It makes sense with the title in hindsight, but to go down this spiral turned what I thought was just an album about trying not to be a perfectionist into an album that might have a deeper meaning. It also makes “MY DRUGS” not seem as random as it did before. This song is filled with doubt, wanting to share the space with someone but second guessing with the trash they live in and the fear of being thrown out. It has it all when it comes to being a trash-themed sad song.
uhaul
This has to be the shortest song on the album. It lasts for less than a minute. The lyrics seem to be about wanting to be useful and not wanting to be returned. It sends the message that she wants to become someone this mystery person wants around. She probably doesn’t wanna feel like she’s being thrown out again. The instrumental reminds me more of something that would be played in a calm moment of a video game or something you can walk down the street to. With the slower to anxious and desperate vocal delivery, it does start to sound a little more in the dumps overall. Maybe it’s just sad hearing anyone feel this way about anyone.
little lies
This song seems to be the moment where she realizes she needs someone to help her pick up her emotions. She doesn’t seem a hundred percent happy about the outcome of reaching out, but she does recognize something has to change. She also knows she rather be told little lies than be criticized in the state that she is in. This is what I got from the lyrics anyway. Interestingly, this is backed by a more upbeat instrumental than the previous one. It reminds me of the type of music you’d hear in cozy games. Almost like she wishes someone would help her feel comfortable through those little lies.
there’s a party at the dump tonight, u should totally come!! :))
This song starts with what is described in the video as “incoherent gay chatter” as we start to hear a more optimistic instrumental. It reminded me of the kind of song you’d hear at the end of a film where you feel like your life can change or you can appreciate what you have around you. This track was probably the most imaginative with it no longer directly talking to the listener through lyrics. It starts to feel more like people watching as we listen to her have these conversations with these mystery people. We don’t hear the responses from the people she’s talking to and I think it works. The focus is on her and this period of positivity. She no longer talks about experiencing certain things but is experiencing them. This felt like a wonderful ending to the EP.
Thoughts on the album overall
TLDR: I like it and I think it’s a good example that you can make good things if you lower your expectations.
If I may go into more detail, I thought this was a very interesting concept with its different ways to twist the usage of trash. From the start, it just seems like an album to show that anyone can create and that it doesn’t have to be perfect. In the end, it’s still that, but there is more to the story.
Within the six songs, we went on a journey of late meds to wanting to share the space with someone and not feeling the best about yourself to looking up on life while hanging around the people you care about in a way lyrics can’t describe. Having a break from the thoughts of worry and self-doubt. With the overwhelming amount of positive comments, I’d say this project is a good example that when you put yourself out there, things will not be as bad as your question in your head. It’s okay to make trash, but it doesn’t mean you are.
Thoughts on allowing yourself to create trash
No matter the creative medium, no matter how free or expensive, and no matter how much time it takes to get the project done, it’s important to hold space for mistakes to make something you are proud of. Otherwise, how can you be creative if you’re holding yourself back? It's a brewing ground for overthinking and giving up before you can start. Some people’s best work has come from trying out random ideas or making things by accident and allowing themselves to trust the process. Even if it turns out terrible, you can’t say you didn’t learn anything in the end. You can’t grow expecting perfection. This EP would have never existed if Patience had never taken the time to try something new. Is it the best album in the world? No, but it’s not trying to be and I think we need more of that.
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Photo Credits:
Album Cover and Thumbnail taken from https://mallbat.bandcamp.com/a...